Okinawa Here I Come!

Whew!! Our 3-day training is over, and I am so jacked to go to Okinawa with the girls (Kelly, Allison, Jen) tomorrow. I am so unbelievably exhausted from long days and lack of sleep, which isn't unbelievable at all really, since I haven't been able to get a solid night's sleep lately anyway. Does that even make sense??
But I just wanted to write to say hello, I'm here, but tomorrow I'm off the mainland, but I'll be back on Saturday. I probably won't have the opportunity to update much until next week, so don't send me those guilt trip e-mails, etc about not writing back right away!
big tired but happy love!

Moving Shmoving

It's moving weekend for me. I have spent the last month living out of a suitcase in the kenshu center in okayama, living a quasi-nomadic existence. and now i'm back in tokyo for a couple days trying to pack the remainder of my worldly possessions up before officially moving tomorrow. and by 'trying to pack' i clearly mean wandering around my appt waiting for the packing elves to materialise from thin air and do it for me.

it's not even that bad, it's just a process of dumping things into boxes. i don't even have an appt until the 18th, so i'm living at the KC until said point. actually, i'm moving into the appt, which is currently Kelly's place, on the 12th, so we get to be roomies for a bit. unpacking will be quite the cleansing experience my life probably needs right now. i pray to the idols that this is the Last Time i move in Japan. the next time i move will be back to Canada, and even then I'm not sure how long I'll stay. i have been carting around the same possessions plus and minus things i've thrown out and picked up along the way, since I was 18. i moved 4 times in toronto, then over to japan where i've lived in 4 different appts, and this next move will be my 5th.

it's like the universe is trying to tell me that my plan to be a nomad, or as much as nomad as one can get in today's society, is a bad idea. now i realise the virtues of settling down into one place. but, i am glad that i could move so many times, and the luxury of doing it childless, partnerless, and without any strings holding me down into one place. is that sad? is that sad that i feel no attachment anymore to the places i have lived? the only attachment to the homeland is my sister, nephew, and my parents. i guess that's a pretty big one...

i haven't meditated properly in about 2 weeks and i think this strange feeling of spinning thoughts has something to do with that lack of centering. it's pretty hard to feel completely normal and whole when my stuff is spread out all over japan and i don't really have a home base. but, c'est la vie. i'll have my life sorted in a few weeks, so like taylor dayne says, just hold on for one more day... or one more month.

nothing, absolutely nothing, interesting or worth noting happened in the last few days. oh, except that i had my last meal at Tofu Boys, and when I told my fav waitress this, she later brought me soy milk cream puffs and tofu cheesecake to work for me as a goodbye present. oh, the good people of Japan delight me once again!

Japan has been killin' me with its hilarity lately. I guess a lot of that perspective has to do with being with my cousin-- a week of insane fun that I still have to write about--, and training the new teachers that came this month. i got a little bit of an 'initial training high' from being around people so completely new to japan. they open yr eyes to all the wondrous and new things about japan that you somehow take for granted or have desensitised yourself to living here. is it really that strange to have squid on your pissa? (guess which key doesn't work on my keyboard anymore...) or to have everyone in the store yell welcome to you when you walk in? or order yr food from a vending machine and just give the person at the counter your ticket for the meal? i guess it is! how can i ever go back to a normal Canadian live after this?!

i am contemplating staying longer. my sister said she might come for a vissie in december during her winter break (Corey is taking Colton this Christmas...) and so i'm thinking maybe i'll stay for another 6 months. i finally figured out the general direction of what i want to do after Japan. Plan #37865 is to travel about southeast asia, pop home and kick it in Canada for a bit, see some of my friends, and then head to Mysore, India and study to become a yoga instructor for a few months before either 1. returning to Canada or 2. doing the Peaceboat and teaching yoga on it. that would be so chill! the logistics of the rainy season, and the Peaceboat interviews and departure dates are details that will eventually sort themselves out in the end, but i really feel no rush to "get a career" but i do know this- my career will never be a desk job. i mean, it's alright now, and my whole situation of working at a desk is something in which i find constant amusement and i make it work because it's a job, i work with fun people who feel the same about working at a desk, and i get to do it in such a cool country as Japan.

sometimes just living here makes everything ok. i have come to love living in a state of mild confusion/bewilderment of things that are going on around me. and when i don't understand, sometimes i just make up my own lil stories about why things are the way they are. other times i allow myself to accept a certain level of confusion surrounding things that happen.

....

During my time in Okayama, I was at the KC right, along with the teachers I was training, and also some new teachers that work for a different dept. There were 4 guys- 2 Canadians, a Brit, and an American, all equally fun and hilarious to be around in their own unique ways. It was so refreshing to kick it with guys, since the estrogen levels at the office and in my outside life have hit an all-time high. I love that guys just aren't wrapped up in petty things girls talk about half the time-- worrying about how to act around guys, analysing conversations or exchanged glances, trying to be cutesy, etc, etc... Can you imagine?? The cool part is that Derek lives Okayama, Tim in Hiroshima, Dushan in Tottori, and Chris just outside Hiroshima (mihara?maihara?) which are all relatively close to moi! I hope we get the chance to see each other again and do some exploring. I am determined to explore more of west Japan when I move. I know, didn't I tell myself I was going to check out the east when I move to Tokes? ya, that was before I realised when one lives in Tokyo, one sees nothing beyond Tokyo worth investigating.

I have a couple of things hooked up already in Okayama- a gym membership, hip hip classes, and Japanese lessons! I figure if I am going to stay here until December, then I'ma take the level 3 proficiency test. Lately I've been picking up more and more Japanese, so it'll be a good to have a sensei who can explain some of the finer points of the language to me. Tokyo has made me lay about using the language, since more people speak English.

I started going to the gym- evey day but Tuesdays when it's closed and Saturday when it doesn't jive with my working hours. I forgot how addicting the post-workout endorphin rush is! it's the best way to start off a day- an hour at the gym before work. it makes me feel like i've actually been productive in a day outside of work. The people at the gym are funny-- one man is always wearing khakis with a belt, toe socks, and sandals. Who is this guy??? One cannot possibly be serious about stretching in khakis and a belt! to each his own, i guess. it's not much in the way of a nice gym, but it does have some fun cardio equipment, a pool --oh crap, now i remember what i have to do today... buy a swimsuit appropriate for the gym-- and a studio. there's also a sauna and steam room that i have yet to check out.

My friend Tehani and I take the sunday night hip hop class with the finest instructor ev-er. good lord. ya know, you could just be an average looking guy, but if you got the moves yr just 100 times more attractive. but, my instructor is just fine to begin with. he came up to us after class and told us we have good moves!! hahaha.. that's funny because i feel like quite the gangly little monkey with extra long arms dancing around in class. but it's fun, and it's something that can be modified out on the dance floor. *sigh* i wanted to go dancing my last weekend in Tokyo... no time. But Marie and I are planning a big night out in Osaka next next week so I'll have to showcase mah moves then! hahaaa

oh dear, i have so much more to write about. i don't know when i'll have net access after tomorrow.. i'll try to write some things before work and post them there. until then...

My Little Pony, Prancing Pony

Yesterday I was all set on my way to head back from Okayama to Tokyo when walking down the street I saw a pony. Just chillin, on the street.

A friggin pony!!

It was one of those feelings, frequently felt in this land of wonder and mystery, of "does not compute! does not compute!"

Why, dear reader, would there be a pony on the middle of the sidewalk in Okayama???
Where did such a creature come from?
Was he lost?
Did he wander down from the surrounding mountains?
Do ponies even live in mountains? I thought they lived with carnies. Is there a mystical forest full of carnies, ponies, and boiled cabbage patches beyond the hill of Okayama?

Perhaps the strangest part of the morning was not that I saw a pony but that I was definitely the only one to do a double take. This fact can only lead me to believe that pony sightings are an every day occurence in Okayama, and that I should stuff carrots in my pockets for any future encounters.

Maybe Okayama will turn out to be just as strange and wonderful as Tokyo has been...

GOLDEN WEEK IS HERE!! 10 GLORIOUS WORK-FREE DAYS. Life is good.

Last weekend John and I got into some impromptu mischief in shinjuku, it started innocently enough, bowl a couple of games and catch a train home. well, at least 50% of that happened. First we went to this all-you-can-eat all-you-can-drink for 90 minutes yakiniku restaurant. *sigh* i could never be a vegetarian. this place was so barbaric when i thought about it, but damn it was tasty! there's a buffet with assorted sundries like fried chicken, spring rolls, oden, salads and pineapple (weird, eh), and then there's the meat fridge. basically we just rocked up there, and selected as much raw meat as we wanted, sat down at our table, cooked it up and gorged. but just seeing like plates and plates overflowing with assorted meats was just so freaky.

and then i realized i have japanified because i was all over that cow tongue like a fat kid on a smartie. cow tongue is seriously delicious. i know, you're thinking i'm totally disgusting, and that how much lower on the list of edible things can you get than chewing something else's tongue. but, there's always horse sashimi (raw horse meat). yup, i did that. nope, i'm not doing it again. anyways, the whole affair of all you can eat meat was lush, and i thoroughly enjoying the nata de coco and coffee jelly from the dessert fridge afterwards.

after eating the equivalent of a small cow--or at least that's what it felt like. not a calf, but a small cow. in reality, given that the meat was thinly sliced, i probably ate only like a steak. a steak sized portion of cow tongue. YUM.-- we went to bowling. oh god. went to bowling? I mean we went bowling. fun, i kicked john's ass at ten pin, but let him win the tiebreaker game. bowling rounds are only 2 frames here. i swear they are three frames in canada. aren't they??? my american mates said it's two in the states, and john said it's two in ireland. but i distinctly remember having another go per frame back home. can someone please tell me if it's two or three?? have i reduced myself to creating false memories of the english-speaking world?

bowling is cheap fun-- 300 yen for retro velcro shoes, 400 yen for a game, and watching drunk salary men fall over in the lanes, free! my "running man" dance across the lanes, which i promised john i would do if he got a strike, was also free. and fun as hell. public dancing knows no boundaries.

we ended up drinking too many road rockets, and kicking it around dirty as shinjuku, people watching and touring through the "artist" area i.e. smaller than small backstreets lined with shady watering holes. ended up at this one place for drink, and spent entirely too much money being mean to my liver, but it was 110% worth it because it brought memories of me in high school flooding back. you see, this rock bar, i can't even remember the name, or if it even had one, was large enough for 6 people, and the bartender; and the bartender was like our own personal DJ. basically, at the back of the drink menu is the "song menu" where you choose any artist (they even had the tragically hip. no one has the Hip here!!!) and the bartender brings you out like all of their CDs and you get to choose what songs to play. ahhh, had a blast from the past with marilyn manson, nirvana, tool, system of a down, alice in chains.... all the dark and depressing shit i used to listen to. it was AWESOME!!!

our "just one drink" turned into about 5, which meant we were in a perfect state of mind for karaoke. ended up at some weird and new karaoke joint with lasers and stroke lights everywhere and i may or may not have had seizure on the floor.

i need not share more details (mostly cuz i can't remember) about the train ride home, but we made one of the first ones back to the KKZ. somewhere along the 15 minute ride, a not-so-brilliant plan was born to rent a movie, naturally. i mean, what else is there to do at 7 in the morning when you're wide awake from drinking and singing? sleep?? hah, that's what the workweek is for. my only tale from this plan is to share with you the advice to never rent "the man who knew too little" with bill murray unless you are in the mood for a horribly bad movie with an equally craptastic soundtrack. ugh, what a waste of a beautiful morning watching that.

so, in the end, although i did consume 15 or more drinks and really should have stopped after half that amount, it was wicked and new fun that night. and the next day, after my 2.5 hour kip, i went massive for an hour run, followed by a 30 minute walk to a mexican restaurant nearby, and the 30 min walk home. i had more energy than i knew what to do with.

i've been feeling that a lot lately. for some reason i seem to have an incredible amount of energy building up inside me and i feel like one of those kids who just randomly would get up in my class and start wiggling and jumping around because she had to burn off the energy of her youth. i imagine this is how it feels when you need to uncoil some layers of kundalini. i wonder if that's what's going on. if i don't do something, like run or do yoga, i feel like i'm a caged animal. it's funny. i wonder what this is. i like it, i mean it's fun to have lots of energy, but it's uncomfortable at the same time. i just need to find a good way to burn it off, or channel it somehow. maybe i just need to meditate more.

speaking of which, how come no one who knows me and my affinity for addictions, told me earlier how addicting meditation is?? it makes me feel so good on so many levels. i've finally gotten to the point where the calm i feel when i'm meditating is extended throughout the day. i was reading somewhere that the effect of meditation and the length it lasts depend on the individual. i think i'm one of the lucky people who can feel the effects for a really long time.

it's done something else to me and it's like all of a sudden (or at least it feels sudden probably because i wasn't paying attention to the process) it's easy for me to see things as they are, without getting too attached to the outcome of events. i mean that i feel i'm living my life from a totally different perspective. and that's really hard to do, to see your life from a different view. this process of learning not to grasp on to things, and to focus on living a good life and maybe one day reaching enlightenment, has done wonders for relieving my work-related stress.

whew. i was feeling so crappy earlier today (energy overload is like wearing an itchy red sweater that's two sizes too small) but tonite's yoga was like washing my soul and wrapping it up in a warm, plush bath towel. and this post makes me feel even better.

will hit ya tomorrow--got something really fun and exciting that i've been SAVING to post about!

It's 11:30pm. I am CRAVING Matsuya ginger pork with salad, rice, and miso soup for the enticing price of 480 yen. But, that would entail me walking down the street to get it. I could... but then I wouldn't sleep well. I could... but then I will wake up with a food coma hangover tomorrow. *sighs* I will resort to craving.

It's been a while, hasn't it? Travelling makes my head spin, and I can't remember to whom I've told what, in letters, emails or phone conversations. I know for the most part I haven't divulged any of the details of the past month on my blog.

To bring you up to speed, pretend like you're Nancy Drew, and I'm the client who's hiring you but first meets you for sandwiches to brief you on my current events. And pretend that you're not dating Ned Nickerson anymore, I never liked him anyway.

- My fav. yoga instructor, Megumi, left. I bought her a going away present (ok, I actually regifted White Day chocolates) and wrote her a letter in Japanese telling her she is my inspiration for wanting to become a yoga teacher. She wrote me a letter and at the bottom, in English, she wrote "I like your smil." I was heartbroken for a week and moped about in my other instructors' classes, and tonite at yoga it just still wasn't the same. However, there are several new instructors who are challenging me with new poses and techniques. The one I had tonite gave me a head massage. A potential new crush on the horizon!

- Remember that other yoga instructor, the bell-ringing, zen-fucking maniac that made me want to shove people in front of trains? Upon considering the insight that maybe she is in my life to teach me patience and tolerance, as suggested by a wise sage aunt of mine, I did go back and take another class with her. And guess what, I really enjoyed it! And guess what else? We're friends now who talk to each other after class! And guess what else? I learned to like the bell! If my life were a Paddington book, it would be called "Paddington Learns To Be Tolerant."

- being in Okayama for so many weeks was good for a number of reasons:
-- I got to work with everyone else and it was so much fun and less stressful.
-- I got to see "The Eagle." (He's the man who MCs the company wide business meetings on the first Tuesday of each month. I just love him! Every time I see him I instantly get this vision of him walking on a deserted beach with khaki shorts, a polo shirt, sandals, and thick white athletic socks pulled up to mid calf. *dreamy look*). He held the door open for me when I had to get into the building after hours. I felt we shared a moment, and that it was his lovestruck embarassment rather than utter indifference that caused him to avoid eye contact with me.
-- I got to eat at my fav sushi place in Okayama. yum!
-- I developed a crush on a guy, which is somehow weird and less exciting than crushing on girls, but fun nonetheless.
-- My friends and I (oh ya, I actually have friends... I forgot about that. Sometimes when I get all "personal growth" and tripped up in my own lil world I forget how many friends I have floating around in different parts of Japan. I guess this trip made me feel less nerdy too.) went to hanami (cherry-blossom viewing/getting tanked under the trees party) a couple of times and I got to spend time with some of the teachers in the area. Hanami is the best. It's my fav. time of year in Japan.
-- Megan, Dorota, and I (all Canadian chics) made a pact to learn how to surf this summer when I move back to the OC (Okayama=the O.C.)
-- I got to see my friend Dan before he headed back to Canada- always a bonus! Dan is mad fun.
-- Doing training was soooo much fun. What a nice change of pace to get out of the office. There were only 4 new teachers this month, which made for a cozier atmosphere. This is my second month in a row doing back-to-back trainings and I am feeling a lot more confident in presenting. Public speaking, or speaking in front of groups, has definitely given me more confidence.
-- the weather sucked and rained the entire two weeks except for two days when I was there but that's ok because it made coming back to sunny, hot Tokyo even more fun.

- I am getting more and more amped for Golden Week. I am so excited to chill with my cousin Lindsay. I don't even care what we end up doing, it'll be super fun just to be off work! A couple of my friends who I haven't seen in 2 years are coming down from Iwaki to Tokyo for the vacation so there's already some partying and karaokeing in store.

- geeez... what else has been happening... oh! I treated myself to an hour of reiki and shiatsu massage a couple of weeks ago. It was divine in every sense of the word. I didn't really go for any particular reason, mostly just to get balanced and kinda do a spring cleaning of my energies. I definitely felt much more balanced afterwards. It was like I was 100% me. That kind of complete self-awareness and peaceful confidence you might get at times when you were younger. I just felt so... me. I have been trying to maintain that feeling of serenity within in the wake of all the stress at work, and changes going on in my life (e.g. getting ready to move. I just want to move already and be done with it!) and so far, so good.

- I joined a gym in the OC and I finally get to start taking hip hop classes on the weekends. my goal is to go to the gym every morning before work and start getting in shape for august. seriously. although, I am happy to say that I fit into all my "emergency" (read: when you shrink back to pre-japan size you can wear them) pants AND I can fit into a pair of hilarious "capri" pants I bought this summer. "Fit", as opposed to "carefully and artfully stuff bum into". wow, that's a lot of quotation marks. Point being, yoga is reshaping my body and that's a good thing. However, much is left to be desired in the cardio dept. That's where the gym comes in. I think it will also make me feel very university-esque, something that I miss as of late.

- the spring weather has lifted my spirits, and increased my motivation for life. I feel such a sense of rebirth. I can handle the challenges of life with ease! The strength and confidence I seek is already within me! Ok, that was cheesy. But maybe I feel cheesy. or maybe I don't feel cheesy at all, but just say that to stop people from reading this and thinking "whoa, what a dork!" even though do I really care what people think? oh the beauty of having a blog to record my inner monologue!!

- point forming is fun! I hope it makes for good reading. will add more later.

Good god I am DYING for Matsuya... Tonite: exercise willpower.