after careful consideration i:ve decided after a three month hiatus to smoke again. ahhh yes, but here:s the deal. i:m allowed to smoke only if i eat healthy. harm reduction my friend, harm reduction. i:d much rather enjoy a cigarette than pull my hair out because i lack any other kinda coping skills. let:s face it, i:m too stressed out here, and smoking... smoking forces a ten minute break upon me to just sit there and be. plus, it:s just something to do... and i lost my tongue ring and i have a raging oral fixation. AND the way i see it, my skin can:t possibly get any worse, and i can:t possibly get more sicker so really, it:s not that bad after all. as long as i have the lung capacity to pump out an hour run every morning, i:m happy!
i woke up sunday and thought about suicide.
i called my sister and cried.
and she made me feel infintely better about my life in all it:s craziness.
then i thought it was high time i heavily pamper myself to cheer me up. i:m like my own boyfriend in a way. except i can:t snuggle myself... and er... ok scratch that being like my own boyfriend at all...
pampering consisting of the MOST LUXIURIOUS experience at the hairdressers holy fuck why didn:t i discover Fresh Love salon 7 months ago??? a haircut here is quite unlike those in north america. well first of all i didn:t get my hair cut cuz i:m crazy about growing it long. but i did get it dyed a dark brown with some blond streaks in it. so i get there and the dude, Tom, spoke pretty good english so we had a lil consultation about what he was going to do with my hair. then i got it washed... three times!! i was in pure fucking heaven! i LOVE getting my hair washed. i would marry a guy with no lower body if he was addicted to washing hair. it:s just so soothing and relaxing to get a scalp massage. the guy put a soft, drier sheet like paper over my face so the water wouldn:t spray everywhere- they should seriosuly adopt that in canada cuz it used to drive me nuts all the water droplets spraying everyhwere. when it came time to dye and streak my hair they put these lil sandwich baggies over my ears so they dye wouldn:t get on them. it was jsut hilarious. there i was, sitting in a chair with my complimentary green tea and pastries (i felt like a queen!) with two guys on either side of me wrapping lil ziploc bags around my ears, as i paged through this near pornographic gothic magazine (one of the guys Yusuke brought it to me to dig, and i felt it rude not to peruse through it... japan has some kinky shit happening underground i tell ya! i guess that:s what happens when you live in a society with 2345667467345 rules dictating social behaviour). after washing my hair to get the dye out I got a scalp and shoulder massage- it was LUSH! Tom and i chatted all about japan, and japanese dudes (*be careful! they lie!*), and travelling... his wife and him are having a baby in October!! that:s so exciting! i was telling him all about my sister n Corey n lil COlton. afterwards i felt so much better about myself. but the pampering had just begun! then i headed to Kappa Sushi (i am a GD regular there!) to indulge before renting some movies, grabbing some darts and Chu0hi and heading to louise and sarah:s empty place to watch movies and smoke all by myself. cuz everyone else was at this NOVA work party... and i must say i thoroughly enjoyed myself! it was like this devious lil secret, smoking was. no one knew, none of my friends knew i broke my NY resolution, so i felt incredibly devilish. originally i intended to be an undercover smoker... but i think that would just get way too toughesp if we go out drinking)
the next day Taka and I chilled together. it was the awesomest time!! we went up to the mountains for a bit, took some rests and sat and smoked, then headed back into Iwaki to get gas (man, that light was flashing and there was no way i was gna be pushing anything!) and then over to the most beautiful beach in Iwaki, Shinmaiko beach. it was an absolutely gorgeous day out, i was out in a tank top and light cardigan. just sat on the beach and watched the ocean and talked. i absolutely love getting to know people and i could pretty much spend entire days talking and learning about other people. Taka:s chill. he just moved to Iwaki like a month ago cuz of his job so it was wicked azz to get out and explore more together. Taira, the main part of iwaki, gets old, fast. went to KS for dinner (oh gad oh gad kappa susssssssshi) and now, he understands my addiction. cheap AND delicious! and then rented Buffalo 66 (written, directed, and starring Vincent Gallo ---GO!GO! LA, Truth or COnsequences, NM--- n watched it at L and S:s n just sat around afterwards talking about language and culture. truly interesting and insightful times! he:s the kind of person who will say something in passing and not attach any more importance to it than anything else he:s said but that thing is exactly what you needed to hear at that point in your life... ahhhh.... it was so wicked to chill out with him... ;)
tomorrow i start new classes and new students at work. oh the fun begins! it:s a good thing cuz michelle and i were starting to get burnt out. today i skipped my lunch break and left an hour early. so i feel like i:m playing hooky right now, being out in the outside world before 8pm. i:ma head home cuz i have tons of crap from work, including beautiful and nice smelling flowers from one of my students, to ditch n then i:ma bounce over to Phil:s n fuck around on his bass. i think monday Dan, Phil, and I are going to get some studio time (it:s SO cheap here) and just jam. which should be either rediculous or hilarious or both considering i haven:t played bass since high school.
signing off to have a lil dart...
and by theway, i am NOT a slave to nicotine. it:s just something that i need right now, and eventually i:ll give it up. but as long as i:m living in a vortex and it:s cheap and you can do it anywhere, i:m in!
oh would you just listen to my justifications???! yeesh!... at any rate, like Gord says, a slave is not a slave if he:s simply satisfied with less...
i woke up sunday and thought about suicide.
i called my sister and cried.
and she made me feel infintely better about my life in all it:s craziness.
then i thought it was high time i heavily pamper myself to cheer me up. i:m like my own boyfriend in a way. except i can:t snuggle myself... and er... ok scratch that being like my own boyfriend at all...
pampering consisting of the MOST LUXIURIOUS experience at the hairdressers holy fuck why didn:t i discover Fresh Love salon 7 months ago??? a haircut here is quite unlike those in north america. well first of all i didn:t get my hair cut cuz i:m crazy about growing it long. but i did get it dyed a dark brown with some blond streaks in it. so i get there and the dude, Tom, spoke pretty good english so we had a lil consultation about what he was going to do with my hair. then i got it washed... three times!! i was in pure fucking heaven! i LOVE getting my hair washed. i would marry a guy with no lower body if he was addicted to washing hair. it:s just so soothing and relaxing to get a scalp massage. the guy put a soft, drier sheet like paper over my face so the water wouldn:t spray everywhere- they should seriosuly adopt that in canada cuz it used to drive me nuts all the water droplets spraying everyhwere. when it came time to dye and streak my hair they put these lil sandwich baggies over my ears so they dye wouldn:t get on them. it was jsut hilarious. there i was, sitting in a chair with my complimentary green tea and pastries (i felt like a queen!) with two guys on either side of me wrapping lil ziploc bags around my ears, as i paged through this near pornographic gothic magazine (one of the guys Yusuke brought it to me to dig, and i felt it rude not to peruse through it... japan has some kinky shit happening underground i tell ya! i guess that:s what happens when you live in a society with 2345667467345 rules dictating social behaviour). after washing my hair to get the dye out I got a scalp and shoulder massage- it was LUSH! Tom and i chatted all about japan, and japanese dudes (*be careful! they lie!*), and travelling... his wife and him are having a baby in October!! that:s so exciting! i was telling him all about my sister n Corey n lil COlton. afterwards i felt so much better about myself. but the pampering had just begun! then i headed to Kappa Sushi (i am a GD regular there!) to indulge before renting some movies, grabbing some darts and Chu0hi and heading to louise and sarah:s empty place to watch movies and smoke all by myself. cuz everyone else was at this NOVA work party... and i must say i thoroughly enjoyed myself! it was like this devious lil secret, smoking was. no one knew, none of my friends knew i broke my NY resolution, so i felt incredibly devilish. originally i intended to be an undercover smoker... but i think that would just get way too toughesp if we go out drinking)
the next day Taka and I chilled together. it was the awesomest time!! we went up to the mountains for a bit, took some rests and sat and smoked, then headed back into Iwaki to get gas (man, that light was flashing and there was no way i was gna be pushing anything!) and then over to the most beautiful beach in Iwaki, Shinmaiko beach. it was an absolutely gorgeous day out, i was out in a tank top and light cardigan. just sat on the beach and watched the ocean and talked. i absolutely love getting to know people and i could pretty much spend entire days talking and learning about other people. Taka:s chill. he just moved to Iwaki like a month ago cuz of his job so it was wicked azz to get out and explore more together. Taira, the main part of iwaki, gets old, fast. went to KS for dinner (oh gad oh gad kappa susssssssshi) and now, he understands my addiction. cheap AND delicious! and then rented Buffalo 66 (written, directed, and starring Vincent Gallo ---GO!GO! LA, Truth or COnsequences, NM--- n watched it at L and S:s n just sat around afterwards talking about language and culture. truly interesting and insightful times! he:s the kind of person who will say something in passing and not attach any more importance to it than anything else he:s said but that thing is exactly what you needed to hear at that point in your life... ahhhh.... it was so wicked to chill out with him... ;)
tomorrow i start new classes and new students at work. oh the fun begins! it:s a good thing cuz michelle and i were starting to get burnt out. today i skipped my lunch break and left an hour early. so i feel like i:m playing hooky right now, being out in the outside world before 8pm. i:ma head home cuz i have tons of crap from work, including beautiful and nice smelling flowers from one of my students, to ditch n then i:ma bounce over to Phil:s n fuck around on his bass. i think monday Dan, Phil, and I are going to get some studio time (it:s SO cheap here) and just jam. which should be either rediculous or hilarious or both considering i haven:t played bass since high school.
signing off to have a lil dart...
and by theway, i am NOT a slave to nicotine. it:s just something that i need right now, and eventually i:ll give it up. but as long as i:m living in a vortex and it:s cheap and you can do it anywhere, i:m in!
oh would you just listen to my justifications???! yeesh!... at any rate, like Gord says, a slave is not a slave if he:s simply satisfied with less...
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